Episode 33: Is Confidence An Illusion?

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Today’s conversation brought us to some profound revelations about our personal journeys, from the lessons Sarah’s Ritalin withdrawal taught her about the pliable nature of our personalities, to what we’ve found to be the true nature of confidence!

We discuss the false assumptions we often have about others who appear to be ultra-confident, and how to reframe confidence as connection in social settings.

There is a distinct difference between putting on an act and choosing an energy, and in this episode, we delve into how to choose to exude the energy of confidence and cultivate different parts of your personality.

Tune in to hear about our battles with confidence and what we respect most about our personal confidence icons!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • Our relationship with confidence over the course of our lives.
  • Sarah’s experience of social anxiety and the coping mechanisms she developed.
  • The false assumption that confident people are confident all the time.
  • What Sarah learned from her experience of Ritalin withdrawal as a kid.
  • Emily’s identity crisis when she moved away from her sisters and went to college.
  • The conscious practice of choosing your energy in challenging social situations.
  • Tips for managing social anxiety in the moment!
  • Growing your confidence by being selective about who you spend time with.
  • The value of actively being a safe place for others in social settings.
  • A little about our confidence icons!
  • The human need for connection and the value you can bring to others with your confidence.
  • Speculating whether or not shyness is selfish.
  • The important distinction between putting on an act and choosing an energy.
  • Confidence as an energy, rather than an action.
  • The power of your state of mind and state of being!
  • Why not responding or reacting is a flex.
  • What constitutes true self-confidence and where it stems from.


“If you see a confident person, it would be easy to assume that they’re like that all the time, and maybe the truth is that even this most confident person that you’ve seen has fetal position Netflix couch days.” — Emily Pennystone [0:07:40]

“When I was younger, confidence was a practice.” — Sarah Turner [0:09:33]

“You can cultivate parts of your personality.” —  Sarah Turner [0:12:29]

“The more I’ve been careful about who I spend my time and energy with, that’s been one of the best factors in growing my own genuine confidence.” — Emily Pennystone [0:24:38]

“There’s an important distinction to be made [between] putting on an act and choosing an energy.” —  Sarah Turner [0:48:23]

“Confidence is an energy to exude and inhabit, and it’s an authentic expression of a part of you.” — Emily Pennystone [0:50:31]

“I associate confidence with the need to not take action … the truly most confident people in this world do not feel a need to react or act or control or adjust situations.” —  Sarah Turner [0:54:37]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Inner Archeology Email

Sarah Turner on Instagram

Emily Pennystone on Instagram

About Sarah

I’m an entrepreneur on a mission to help other people become entrepreneurs.
My blog is a place where I provide business building advice and explore how we can create more meaningful work.

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